Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
