My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
