Plan B is the new Plan A
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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