I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
