Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize