is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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