this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
