Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
