8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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