Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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