Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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