Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
