I hate all girls vehemently.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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