remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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