I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
