Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
