I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
