I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
