Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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