At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
