Don't you send me to vm
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
50% drunk capacity currently
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize