I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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