So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
