that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
