All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
