week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
we're so committed to being not committed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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