Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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