He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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