I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
