i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize