lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
