it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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