Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
