No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will be naked everywhere
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
