help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize