one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
