I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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