Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't deserve a penis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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