I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
