We're like a lot better than the average bears
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
