Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
