you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
