Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
