i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
