Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
