Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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