ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
