she looked like the before picture.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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