Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
