no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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