i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
