i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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