even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You're like the curious george of whores
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize