I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
