Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
