If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
