totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
