just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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