at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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