I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
