I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
