i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
