Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
